Every Moment of Your Life
by FifiDoll
Summary: ...is an opportunity for fashion. Kurt reveals to the guys that he's not as innocent as they think - and he gets around because he dresses well. The guys get jealous and take a hint from Kurt.


Okay, so I have a confession to make. I'm not being completely honest when I tell people I'm gay. Yes, I have a flair for fashion and I love a good frottage session with a guy (like when Puck came to school drunk and sucked me off in the janitor's closet) but like every guy, I enjoy girls. Actually, I probably enjoy girls more than any guy in this school if you look at the numbers. Yes, even Puck. Why don't I correct them, you ask? Well, why bother?

I've thought about how I could possibly admit to everyone that I'm _bisexual_, not gay, but nobody would listen. When you look at my clothes, my voice, and my public sexual track record (which includes nobody, except maybe Blaine) it would be hard to convince anyone otherwise. So, I let girls figure it out one by one and get around on the down low. No girl would ever admit to sleeping with me, thanks to the fact that everyone thinks I'm gay, so they get their thrills with me and continue holding out on their boyfriends. Why they insist on doing me instead of their _actual_ boyfriends I'll never know, but I'm not complaining. There's something sexy about a closeted straight (well, bi) man, I guess.

I'm not a slut, and I'm not for hire. I want to make that perfectly clear. I just enjoy hanging out with girls, and sometimes it leads to more. Then afterwards we pretend nothing happened, and most of the time they'll just go right back to ignoring me like they did before the sex. I'm guessing I'm giving you the impression that I get around, so let me just clarify. I haven't slept with _that_ many people. Puck sucked me off once, I had sex with Blaine (we took turns topping), and then there's all the Cheerios (yes, ALL – boys _and_ girls), all the girls in Glee, and even a couple of girls from Vocal Adrenaline thanks to Jesse St. James. Oh! And how could I forget? I slept with Jesse, too. Yeah, that was it. I have it on good authority (Santana) that I've been with twice as many girls as Puck has, and I'm pretty proud of that.

I keep up this whole gay façade because there's no reason to blow it. Guys think I'm gay and stay away and _never_ suspect me of sleeping with their girlfriends. I get to have my kicks with no strings attached (Rachel tried to stay with me, but I ended that, her feelings aside) and at the tiny expense of the football guys picking on me. I stopped letting it get to me because inwardly I knew that they weren't getting any purely because _I was_. My life was pretty grand with this lifestyle…until the third annual boys versus girls competition in glee club.

Our assignment this time around was to do a medley that featured each of us as a soloist sometime during the song. As usual, Puck was being his asshole self. Finn had decided that we were doing a medley that begins with a good song, transitions into a ballad, and turns into a crowd-pleaser at the end. Puck decides to nominate me to sing the female part of the ballad. "I may be a soprano but that does _not_ mean I'm singing the girl part," I argued.

"You sang it in Defying Gravity," Puck replied with a smirk.

Oh, his smirk. I just wanted to slap it off of his face right then and there. "He has a point," Finn spoke up. "You do sing high notes really well. It could help us win."

I rolled my eyes at his innocent naivety. "There are plenty of ballads we can sing that aren't male and female duets," I pointed out. "Artie has a wonderful ballad voice. He could solo for a bit and Mike could back him up. We'd sound amazing."

"We have the competitive edge of your vocal range, though," Artie argued. I hate when he pitches in. He's usually always right. He continued, "We would have a really good chance of beating the girls with a duet because they don't have anyone that can sing low enough to do the same thing."

I sighed. I was fighting a losing battle. "Besides," Puck added, "You're so much like a girl nobody would even know the difference. I bet those boys you get with don't." He laughed a little before adding, "Oh, wait. You don't get any."

Holding back exactly what I wanted to say was _so hard_ at that moment. When I saw Mike laughing in the background, a smile on Artie's lips, and Finn laughing alongside Puck, who was practically in tears, I couldn't hold it back any longer. As much as I knew I'd regret it, I had to tell them. The girls could deal with whatever happened after this. I could feel my face getting hot and red as I said, "You don't know the first thing about my sex life!"

The guys laughed even harder. "I don't know why you guys are laughing," I shot.

I rounded in on Artie, first. Of all the guys in glee club, he was the one I least expected to laugh at me. "You know Brittany? I sleep with her _every_ Thursday night when you're out at the comic book store with Sam."

Sam snorted in laughter as Artie's smile disappeared. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. When I'm done with Brittany I go over to Quinn's. Did you know she loves it when you say her name during sex?"

Sam's smile fell as well, his eyes wide. Puck and Finn were still laughing, and Mike looked amused. "Mike, don't even get me started on Tina. All that freaky stuff you're too scared to try? You know, the stuff she's been asking you about for _weeks_?" His smile fell at that. "We do it all the time." I smirked, an effect I save for my most dramatic moments. "Unlike you, I'm not afraid to get a little adventurous in the bedroom."

Mike's smile fell and Finn and Puck weren't laughing so much. I was saving the best for last. "Dude, you're lying," Puck shook his head.

"Yeah, you're gay, dude," Finn added, looking amused.

So they thought this was funny, did they? "Hey Finn, when was the last time Rachel let you get to second base after school?" I asked. "I bet you it's been a while. Since Santana's party last Friday, would be my guess."

"Dude, how did you know that?" Finn looked confused.

Confusion really didn't look good on him. "She's got some interesting bruises and hickeys she's trying to keep hidden from you," I smiled innocently. "Rachel enjoys a little pain when she's drunk. It's pretty fun."

Finn looked like a fish out of water. It was yet another look that didn't look good on him. Puck's smile was fading too. "And you," I started in on Puck, lingering dangerously close.

He was glaring at me; I could tell he was threatening me. I couldn't tell what he was more scared of: me telling about the janitor's closet incident, or me having some sexual dirt on him. I was right in front of him, only about an inch away. "Remember that fantasy of yours? The one you told Santana? About how you want to get with all the Cheerios _at once_?" I asked.

Puck looked down at me through narrowed eyes. He watched me, daring me to say what was coming next. "Yeah, I got your fantasy," I smirked. "All of the Cheerios at once…" I stepped back. "Brittany…Santana…Quinn…_everyone_."

"Dude, no you didn't," Puck shook it off.

"If you don't believe me, call Santana or Brittany. Or ask any of the Cheerios," I shrugged, walking around to sit at the piano.

I pulled out some sheet music and got ready to play. My hands lingered over the keys as I looked up at the five flabbergasted guys. "It turns out that girls really like feminine guys that are comfortable with their sexuality," I pointed out. "You might want to work on that."

They all looked at me, surprised. I ignored their stupid looks and began playing the ballad _I_ chose, which lacked a feminine vocal line. "Now, let's get to work," I said simply. "We'll be singing _this_ as a ballad. I refuse to sing a girl's part; there are no more girls left at this school for me to try to get with so there's no point, really."

Rehearsal went well, considering I basically stole their manliness (or in Puck's case, badassness) away from them in like, five minutes. They let me choose the ballad (the entire medley, actually) and I spent the rest of the rehearsal dictating who would sing what. Since it was Thursday, we wouldn't be meeting again until Monday. They had that much time to pull themselves together. I mean, sure, I just admitted to sleeping with all of their girlfriends, but whatever. Worse things have happened to them, I'm sure.

So, let me just say that Monday was the most shocking, surprising day of my life. And the most depressing because it meant that many fewer girls I'd get to sleep with, but I don't care about that as much. In the words of some football neanderthal, the glee club boys had "caught the gay."

Mike showed up first, and I wasn't too surprised by what he was wearing. He generally wears tight clothing, so when he walked in wearing straight legged jeans rolled up at the bottom, red socks, and classy black shiny dress shoes I was hardly impressed. He looked amazing, though; his gray tee shirt left nothing to the imagination (yum!) and he wore a loose navy blue blazer over top. Obviously someone didn't like me sleeping with his girlfriend. It worked; Tina practically jumped him the moment he walked through the door.

Artie rolled in next with Brittany pushing him, beaming proudly at her new boyfriend. Well, new in the sense that his style had changed, I guess. He was sporting tight denim pants covered at the bottom by fabulous black boots with just enough buckles to be chic, not biker trash. Then even _I_ couldn't help but swoon a little; he was wearing this _fabulous_ Jil Sander wool-cashmere turtleneck sweater I've been eyeing up for _days_.

Sam walked in next and his outfit _screamed_ bisexual hipster. I loved it. He was wearing yellow skinny jeans and a pair of half-laced bright red Chuck Taylors. He wore a black and white checked v-neck with a sinfully low neckline, and his swooshy hair was half-covered with a ridiculous red ski cap complete with a puff ball at the top. He looked scene and sexy, and Quinn noticed. She flashed me a sympathetic glance before attaching herself to his arm.

I was curious, now. It looked like all the boys did their research and decided to turn their wardrobe a little more feminine. The only boys missing were Finn and Puck, and I was most excited to see what they were wearing (if it was different from their usual dull American Eagle wardrobe) because they're the best looking guys in glee club.

Finn walked in next, looking a little less sexy now that he wasn't so "All-American Boy" themed. If anything he looked like an oversized vintage newspaper boy. He wore boot cut jeans with no socks and some navy blue suede bucks. I was a little jealous that he could pull off shoes like those; I certainly can't. Up top he wore a white button down shirt with a white and navy blue checked tie, tucked in his half-buttoned navy blue cardigan. Yes, Finn Hudson was wearing a _cardigan_. Then to top it all off, he had a messenger boy cap in navy blue. In all honesty, the look worked for him, it was just _strange_. Rachel looked shocked and then muttered something about their styles "matching" or something. Crazy bitch.

Puck sauntered in behind him and oh dear Gucci was it hard not to jump him. He could bring vintage back in a heartbeat; he wore a polo shirt and khaki's, but he looked more like he was ready to go sailing in Seattle than charging a football line. He sported a 50's-esque Ban-Lon polo, forest green with knit waistband and cuffs and a classy white stripe on the collar. He left the buttons open, and between the fit of the shirt and the open neckline, _everyone_ was sure of his rippling pectorals and washboard abs. His khakis were rolled up at the bottom to reveal beach loafers in a classy brown. Santana mouthed the words "thank you" at me before rushing forward to take his hand in hers.

Thanks to me opening my mouth, the glee guys looked absolutely fabulous. All it took was a horrible outburst confirming just how much of a man-slut I am (Santana has dubbed that as my new nickname, and I find it oddly endearing coming from her so I don't mind), but it still worked. The glee guys looked great. Even though now the whole school knows just how promiscuous I am (well, almost, Jesse and Blaine are still secrets), I'm proud of who I am. It was worth it. I'm glad that I could help five boys realize the motto that I've lived by my entire life: Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion.


End file.
